JD @ school v2.0 (mba)

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2005-08-19T01:50:00.000-04:00

Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.
"Twelfth Night"

And some photocopy for ten weeks.

The summer has come to an end as students return to Ithaca for the next phase of school, getting a job. There are classes to be taken and possibly learning to be done, but getting hired is the purpose of the 2nd year of a MBA program.

End of the 2nd semester

2005-05-15T13:49:00.000-04:00

School ended for 95% of the 1st years on Saturday. In the morning, Brand and MFI students took Cost Accounting; in the afternoon, IBI and RST students took Intermediate Accounting. Some of the finance students had a get together at the IBI professor's home and it seemed like most 1st years ended up at the Chapter House that evening for goodbye drinks.

Most people have been packing up today and plan to leave by Monday afternoon. I know a few left town Saturday afternoon, trying to get some vacation time in before their internship begins.

It has been a while since I posted online. Looks like I wrote 6 posts that have been sitting in my draft folder since then, just did not feel like publishing them:

"I got fucked by the CMC and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" (February 11, 2005)

"Interviews are a waste of time" (February 24, 2005)

"Second year students and their very few nuggets of wisdom" (March 7, 2005)

"Off campus recruiting and the independent job search" (March 12, 2005)

"MLO sucks" (April 7, 2005)

"Follies: 3 hours of time, 30 minutes of comedy" (May 7, 2005)

Student Association (of Idiocy)

2005-02-21T19:01:00.000-05:00

Question: Why is the Student Association having a mid-week, mid-afternoon, Happy Hour 30 minutes before the Accounting midterm?

Answer: Throughout the entire fall semester, 1st years have been bitching about the lack of social events provided by the school. It seemed that every major MBA program had a weekly, sponsored Happy Hour except for the Johnson School. It took 7 months of planning, but the Student Association has delivered on its goal to have a Happy Hour, unfortunately the timing makes the SA look like a bunch of idiots.

The Student Association has decided to team (aka: get someone else to pick up part of the tab) with the Consulting Club to have the 1st Johnson Happy Hour this Wednesday from 4:30pm to 6:30pm. The absolutely stupidity with this scheduling is that roughly 30% of the school have an Intermediate Accounting midterm from 7:00pm to 9:30pm on Wednesday. Originally, the Student Association asked the Old Ezra Finance Club to sponsor the event, but Old Ezra explained that many dues paying members would be unable to attend due to the Accounting exam. Instead of changing the time and date of the Happy Hour such that everybody can attend, the Student Association went to the Consulting Club and asked them for money, correctly assuming that consultants don't know accounting and incorrectly assuming that finance students wouldn't mind if their Student Association dues were used to buy drinks for Brand and SiM students.

Usually when there is a test to be taken in the evening, the Atrium becomes a study hall where students share notes and ideas about the coming exam. I can imagine a scenario where 50 students are studying in the Atrium at 4:00pm and are asked to move so that the bar for Happy Hour can be set up, leading to Accounting students approaching the Dean at Hour Happy and voicing their anger. The school could have had the event last Friday at 6:00pm, a more typical date and time for a Happy Hour, but then 1st years in Brand would have missed it due to their field trip. I guess 50 students in Brand have more power than 150 students in Intermediate Accounting.

The Johnson Graduate School of Marketing

2005-02-17T17:20:00.000-05:00

It has become quite apparent that the school has tried to brand itself as a general management school while becoming much more marketing focused, to the detriment of finance. The most prominent accounting/finance professor at the school left last summer to take a job at BGI. While at the Johnson School, he ran the Parker Center and the Cayuga Fund. His replacement at the Parker Center, the top remaining finance professor, has decided to leave this summer.

The cost of textbooks

2005-02-13T21:23:00.000-05:00

Just some stats to post after paying my most recent AmEx bill:

The cost of my required textbooks and course packets:

Fall 2004 semester: $520.81
Spring 2005 semester: $633.33**

** I still have 2 more classes in the Spring semester to purchase textbooks and/or course packets for.

I believe the only usage I got out of my Stats textbook in the Fall semester was the z-table on the front cover and the t-table on the back cover. The book was purchased for approx. $100 and sold back to the campus book store at the end of the semester for approx. $65. That's a loss of over 10% a month for the 4 month holding period.

It's good to know that the university is a non-profit entity.

Attention must finally be paid

2005-02-11T22:46:00.000-05:00

Why am I trying to become what I don't want to be? What am I doing in an office, making a contemptuous, begging fool of myself, when all I want is out there, waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am!

"Death of a Salesman" Arthur Miller

I wish the above was true and all it took was to know who I am to escape from office life. I do not want to go back to the land of ever shrinking cubicles where Dilbert is not a comic but a documentary.

There's more truth found in Miller's play than all MBA classes combined.

Access Denied

2005-02-03T20:58:00.000-05:00

Here's ado to lock up honesty
And honor from th' access of gentle visitors.
-"The Winter's Tale"

I offer a sincere thank you to Oldman2011. His view was candid and because of that he was maligned.

Seeing what happened to him after he stated facts reconfirmed my belief that certain people rather have the blinders on and not see reality because it may damage their fragile little minds.

I have written many pieces since school began that have stayed in the draft folder and have not been published. Certain things I wanted to say cannot be said in this forum because the repercussions would drown out the benefits of this blog-wrought therapy. In the end I hide behind an electronic veil and give a view of school. (although the veil ain't exactly opaque).

Let's see what the future holds.

2nd Semester begins

2005-01-13T23:42:00.000-05:00

School started for MFI students Tuesday morning with a quiz followed by a few hours of class and an afternoon of cases done in groups. Students in this immersion are taking a condensed version of Corp Fin Policy over the next 2 weeks. I spoke to a few Tuesday night and they were not too happy to start off with a finance quiz worth about 10% of their practicum grade.

Brand began their immersion yesterday. I don't know if any other immersion has class this week. RST has a meeting Sat morning at Sage and then heads to NYC for Week on Wall St. IBI also has WoW next week, I believe there are a few overlapping events including a speech from Johnson alum Mary Meeker at Morgan Stanley and a panel on Sarbanes-Oxley that included Dean Swieringa.

Most talk on campus has been about internships. Many of the jobs available through on campus recruiting have returned their closed lists to the school.

Like Odysseus . . .

2005-01-13T22:56:00.000-05:00

. . . I returned to Ithaca (although I wish I had a Penelope to find).

I came back to my apartment last weekend and found few students in town. I walked to Sage and found one person in the Atrium on her laptop and another person downstairs watching tv. I poked my head into a few bars in Collegetown and saw roughly the same amount of people as there was at Sage. I ended up heading to the Chapter House a few nights in a row; there were more beers on tap than people in the bar.

I spent my winter break being unproductive; I guess an ambitious/practical student would have been doing job related stuff. It was quite strange to have a full month off after working for a few years. My immersion did have some work due over break, but it wasn't too involved, which led to it being completed within an hour of deadline.

"A Holiday Wish" by Steve Martin

2004-12-23T19:58:00.000-05:00

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace . . . and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing . . . the second would be for the $30 million every month to me . . . and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids . . . second would be for the $30 million . . . the third would be for all the power . . . and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife could come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.

Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish. So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no . . . the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, they're not going to be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It's more trouble than it's worth! So, we reorganize, here we go: first, the sex - we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay . . . revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! . . . and of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony.

lifted from http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86fwish.phtml

Things I miss about work this time of year

2004-12-15T08:14:00.000-05:00

Bonuses
Bonuses and the complaining that follows after everyone receives their number. This is usually followed by an email from Corporate stating that while the year was extremely profitable, next year looks less promising.
Bonuses and seeing who leaves work after getting their number. I know someone at my old job who quit while receiving her bonus number and a promotion. This stunned the boss so much so that he still paid her the bonus.
Bonuses and guessing who will leave work after their bonus direct deposit hits their bank account in January
Holiday parties
Holiday parties and seeing people you only know by phone and email
Holiday parties and avoiding people you only know by phone and email
Holiday parties and the people who do not make it to work the next day
Holiday parties and the stories that manage their way around work the following day
Holiday parties, the stories that manage their way around work the following day, and the extraordinary awkwardness of 2 people who see each other the day after the party and try to act like nothing happened

Happy Holidays, here’s some homework

2004-12-15T01:43:00.000-05:00

Several of the immersions held meetings after the Stats final and handed out homework assignments for the break. I know that students in most immersions have much reading and writing to due by early January. In my immersion meeting, we were warned of the intensity of next semester's workload, but were told that students were very grateful during their summer internship for having the immersion.

I believe students in MFI have to be back in Ithaca first after the break, around Jan 12th. Students in IBI and RST have Week on Wall St in mid Jan, visiting several firms and attending corp briefings in different segments of the business.

There are still 2 core courses for everybody to take in the Spring (MLO/Leadership and Ops). After speaking with some 2nd years, it seems that students in each immersion will see less of students in other immersions. The reason is that your coursework will not overlap too much, although there are some courses that are covered by multiple immersions (Valuation, Intermediate Accounting, Cost Accounting).

Final grades for Finance have already been posted online, so 2 more grades to go.

End of the 1st semester

2004-12-14T03:35:00.000-05:00

The Stats final was over at 6p on Monday, finishing the 1st semester for 1st years at the Johnson School. While the TA was handing out the exam I realized that I was 7 questions and 3 hours away from being 25% done with my MBA.

The Finance final was awaiting all students in their mailboxes after Stats and much of the post-Stats conversation in the Atrium revolved around it. This year's Finance final had an average grade of 77%, about 10+% higher than last year.

A few hours later students ended up at Rulloff's in Collegetown to celebrate and discuss plans for the break.

2nd Half Finals

2004-12-12T15:20:00.000-05:00

So far the Finance and Strategy finals have been completed. Stats is to be taken Monday afternoon, finishing the 1st semester.

Finance was graded on Friday, but will be not be returned to students until after the Stats final on Monday. The reason given for holding back the return is that if someone finds out that he/she did poorly in Finance, he/she may lose their intellectual ability for Stats, or some bullshit like that.

Each Strategy prof had their own final. Roughly 50% of the 1st years spent Saturday afternoon trying to figure out what one prof's game theory-esque question was asking.

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate

2004-12-09T02:03:00.000-05:00

"All hope abandon, whoever enters here" (poorly translated by me)

Hopefully students will not see Dante's words inscribed on the doors of Sage Friday morning when the first final takes place. The finals schedule for 1st years is Finance on Friday morning, Strategy all day Saturday, and Stats on Monday afternoon.

101% of the students have completely removed Strategy and Stats from their minds as these tests are both open book and not capable/warranted of being studied. I'm guessing Friday afternoon will be nap time for many 1st years.

Monday night should be fun at Rulloff's as students plan to celebrate the end of the 1st semester in style, drunken karaoke. Legend has it that Edward Rulloff's last words before he was pushed off the platform with a rope around his neck were "hurry it up, I want to be in hell in time for dinner". Maybe his ghost will stop by Ithaca to hear intoxicated business leaders of tomorrow sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" at "his" bar because it may sound like Hell.

Immersion Numbers

2004-11-30T22:10:00.000-05:00

Below is a preliminary breakdown of immersions for the 1st years. This may be wrong since I cannot count past 10 without an Excel spreadsheet any more.

Brand 55
IBI 49
MFI 48
RST 37
SIM 25
EPE 10
Customized ~30

http://www.johnson.cornell.edu/academic/mba/immersion.html for info on what each category means.

Club elections

2004-11-23T21:15:00.000-05:00

This past week most student clubs held their yearly elections. Results were then emailed to the entire class, but strangely I recognized less than 1/2 of the new officers and never heard of 2/3 of the clubs. I'm pretty sure at least one club was fake.

Club elections may me feel young again, like I was in junior high school. That is because the election process felt like a popularity contest.

2nd half update

2004-11-21T09:12:00.000-05:00

The end of 2nd half classes is approaching. Below are some observations on each class:

Finance

I like the class, especially when it is compared to the other 2 classes taken in this half.
2nd year students put a scare into 1st years by telling horror stories about the prof. Some spoke of the draconian measures the prof set up to ruin their life, such as showing up on time and making sure your cell phone does not ring in class. These people obviously never had real jobs because if I showed up late for meetings and had my cell phone go off repeatedly I would have been fired.
Weekly quizzes give credit to those who study the material.
There are approximately 1 million TAs for this class.

Stats

Very poor class that is taught by 2 profs, one old and one new. Both use the same useless material. Seems like a junior high school student who just learned PowerPoint produced the slides since more focus is put on slide animations than content. Maybe the prof accidentally hit the "Animate Everything" button in PowerPoint.
Massive amount of time is spent on very few concepts, mostly because the lecture material does not clearly explain anything.
I find it difficult to comprehend why a stat class has 2 midterms. Using my very limited statistical ability, you shouldn't be able to have multiple "mid"terms.

Strategy

I have no idea what I should be learning in this class. Basically, there is much reading and class discussion yielding little results. Consultants enjoy this class.
Two profs for this class, too. Each has their own quirks, but it is known that one is much tougher in grading. For my class it is obvious that the prof plays favorites. I have heard the same comment spoken in class resulting in 2 different responses from the prof, indifference and delight.

One Year Removed

2004-10-26T20:44:00.000-04:00

I have begun to see prospective students attend classes and eat lunch in the Atrium. My application process was somewhat non-linear, but below are some memories:

The short essay length greatly helped me out. I did not want to write a verbose piece on why my attendance at the Johnson School will result in perpetual bliss throughout the world. I focused on why the Johnson School was the MBA program that best fit me. The word count forced me to distill the essays to what was truly important.
Know the school. Know the clubs, immersions, and events you want to participate in (or at least, which ones you are telling Admissions that you plan to take part in).
Be yourself in your application essays and your interview. The caveat here is that you may be an asshole. If this is the case, don't be yourself. Pretend you are that person at work who is well liked by everyone.
I did not think my interview went well. I spent the ride home replaying the hour in my head and thought there was no way I would be accepted.
Do not rely on your recommenders, even if you have good relationships with them. My boss and I got along fine but he was a prick to me in the application process, constantly delaying his rec until a day before deadline.
The wait after the app is submitted and the wait after the interview is conducted are not fun. I would reload the Johnson web site at least once a day.
If you visit, ask any student in Sage for advice. If they do not know they will find a student who does know and will provide you the answer that is not found in the glossy brochure.

Two Weeks in October

2004-10-25T17:19:00.000-04:00

Been awhile since the last post, just been lazy. So lazy that I'm going to use bullets for the rest of the text:

Finals (Oct 11th - 14th)

Accounting was Accounting. If you walked into the test and thought there was only going to be debit/credit stuff, Prof Libby gave you a whoppin'. I believe the powers that be are still in the midst of post hoc test grade recalculating. I find it somewhat ironic that an accounting grade is taking 2 weeks to add up.
Econ was strange. We were allowed a single page, single sided cheat sheet, but apparently most of the 200+ cheat sheets brought to the final contained nothing applicable to the exam. The mean ended up being 85; peculiar how the actual test mean hit the Prof's targeted test mean.
Most people leaving the 3 hours Marketing final had a "what the fuck was that?!?" look on their face. I now have issues with many of the case related products, for instance I wanted to knock over the Double Stuff Oreo display at Wegman's last week and scream "breakeven!"

Post-Final / Pre-Break Inebriation (Oct 14th)

The Marketing bloodbath concluded the first half of fall classes. Within minutes (to be exact, the time it takes to walk from Sage Hall to Collegetown) the pain was quickly masked in the manner MBA students know best, excessive alcohol consumption.

Fall Break (Oct 15th - 19th)

Some people doing the Wall St. thing headed to NYC for the programmed "Day with a Trader". Heard both good and bad things, depending on which bank you visited and whether you had past experience on the Street.
Some Marketers headed to SC Johnson-land and did what Marketers do.
Others stayed in Ithaca, went home, visited friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, . . .

Back to School (Oct 20th - present)

The three core courses for the second half of the Fall are Strategy, Stats, and Finance.
Finance had a quiz after the first day of classes that got most the 1st years back into the school mode (30mins, 2 questions, most did not finish in time).
Many Wall St guys and girls are about to waste their next 6 weeks driving back and forth between Ithaca and NYC in a poorly choreographed dance that can best be compared to an animal mating ritual gone awry. They will attempt to kiss ass as no ass has been kissed before in order to get on the closed interview lists for Summer 2005 internships.

Rankings

2004-10-07T20:54:00.000-04:00

Business Week's biannual rankings were turned loose today and the Johnson School came in 7th place. I doubt if the quick response by the Administration to dismiss the WSJ rankings and its methodology will be repeated for BW.

First month update

2004-09-27T02:03:00.000-04:00

School has officially reached the one month mark so here are some reflections:

Time is key, learning is not essential or even required. Nevertheless, the costs of textbooks to not learn requires a down payment.
Get along with your learning team, even when one member decides to fuck the rest of you over because he changed his view on the case in the 11th hour. This does not mean you should forget what that asshole did and prevent you from actively seeking revenge at a more appropriate time.
Sundays are reserved for papers due Monday morning.
Corporate briefings waste everyone's time
Myers-Briggs results do not determine your life's calling, your ass kissing ability at corporate briefings does
Marketers think Finance people are weird; Finance people think Marketers are weird; Marketers and Finance people think lawyers are assholes
IT can be your best friend if your PC goes loco, or can be your worst enemy by making your PC go crazy

Team Dynamics

2004-09-27T01:07:00.000-04:00

In a few hours the 2nd Marketing case of the semester is due. Many teams spent the day in Sage Hall trying to write 4 pages of BS. The report could have been done by a single person in a few hours, but has grown to a wasted weekend for many due to team dynamics.

Sometimes it is best not to have the non-quantitative person try their hand in working the case numbers when they don't get why 1+1=2 and may be too proud to ask for assistance. I'm functionally illiterate and if assigned to translate War & Peace will ask for help because I know my limitations. Maybe it is an issue of pride more the competency.

Career Management Center Haiku

2004-09-21T23:08:00.000-04:00

Negligible help
Forces one to become tough
Like a Sage Hall wrap

Good walk spoiled . . .

2004-09-15T01:29:00.000-04:00

. . . by recruiters.

This weekend there is golf outing with some companies. There was a resume drop last week so the recruiter can select who will be in their foursomes. If the recruiter chooses not to play with you, you can spend the day pacing back and forth in anger and still go to "happy" hour with them. Once there and inebriated you can tell the recruiter with the slurred speech only bad beer can cause that he/she is an ass for selecting that dickhead in Marketing who adds nothing, but feels the need to comment each class with witty banter that includes:

I agree with you, Professor
Can we go over the page limit on the paper?
I agree with you, Professor!!!

Info Sessions 101

2004-09-13T22:59:00.000-04:00

Recruiting events several nights a week have become the norm. I just wasted 3+ hours hearing the same cliched bullshit in two separate info sessions.

Everybody queues up and after a few minutes makes it to the CorpTable to give their name on the sign-in sheet, grab the CorpLit and the CorpPen, and enter the classroom
CorpGuy gives 1 min welcome that includes CorpJoke and presses play on VCR to start CorpVideo. After 15 seconds of sound with no picture, the CorpGuy looks at his CorpCoWorkers and states "all I did was press play". CorpGuy then realizes he needs to change the video feed from his CorpLaptop to the VCR.
The CorpVideo shows up on the screen 15 seconds after the audio started so that the audience does not get to see the time lapsed pics of New York, London, Hong Kong, and/or Sydney pulsating to the world beat. The CorpVideo subsequently gives an accurate portrayal of post MBA finance jobs as being the highest achievement humanity has ever accomplished.
CorpVideo ends and CorpPresentation begins.
CorpIntroductions around the room with CorpAlumni and previous summer CorpInterns
CorpGuy opens floor for Q&A. A student in the audience makes an ass of himself with a non-relevant question or some question he saw in a job hunting book.
CorpCocktailHour and student ass-kissing begins.

Midterms in September

2004-09-12T22:28:00.000-04:00

This past Friday and Saturday the first years had their Accounting and Microeconomics midterms, respectively. I did not understand Econ coming in to school and can say with some conviction that 3 weeks of class has not changed this. I guess the truth will be found in the test results.

After the Econ midterm first years were invited to the homes of faculty members for dinner. Some went to the Dean's house, some to a professor's home, . . .

Second week of school thoughts

2004-09-04T13:53:00.000-04:00

First a quick PSA:

. . . if the person sitting next to you in class cannot concentrate due to your body odor, please take a shower and more importantly, use soap

I think the right half of my shirt and pants have to be dry cleaned to remove the stench. It's not like the guy is coming back from a 5 miles run, he just smells and it is noticeable to more people than just those who sit near him in class.

The pace in classes has picked up, which was to be expected. By adding club involvement and corporate presentations to class review sessions, it is now becoming difficult to schedule a learning team meeting with 4 separate schedules.

The split structure of the first semester of school lends itself to midterms this coming week.

First exam

2004-09-01T01:03:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow morning is the initial exam for the first year students. The professor gave a review session today that was so oversubscribed people were turned away. If there was a fire marshal around the school would have been fined for too many people in one classroom. I would like to think that the professor took the mass of students attending his session as a sign that his teaching does not connect with his audience, but I doubt it.

Procrastination (1)

2004-08-31T01:47:00.000-04:00

I have much work to do by morning, but it is approx. 2am and I haven't really started. Maybe if I was truly interested in the assigned bullshit I would have read it before I spent 2+ hours randomly surfing the net, organizing my calendar, staring at the wall, . . .

I get to meet with the Dean tomorrow and I should get a few hours of sleep so that I don't spend the meeting yawning in his face, especially when I have to save all my yawning potential for another exceptionally poor Economics class this week.

Confirmed confusion

2004-08-29T22:42:00.000-04:00

I thought it was just my stupidity when I could not understand the first assignment, but after speaking with my designated team I realize the professor did not explain what was needed to do the work.

My stupidity will be confirmed in classes later on this semester.

School starts, thinking ends

2004-08-27T21:37:00.000-04:00

The first week of classes has ended.

I think that an MBA program is a 2 year experiment in time management; learning is just a peripheral item.

The first semester contains a prescribed course list of introductory classes (economics, finance, marketing, . . .). If you had any background in these fields you have difficulty preventing REM sleep from occurring in class.

First week thoughts

2004-08-14T02:34:00.000-04:00

- I have begun to write in PowerPoint format since that is what I saw from all the presenters this week
- Cliques of students formed within the first 3 minutes of the first day are permanent. If you weren't 'in' at that point in time you are out of luck

Team Building

2004-08-08T23:32:00.000-04:00

I guess what I've been subjected to this week can be deemed "team building" exercises. I found about 80% of the week a waste.

Preface

2004-08-03T23:30:00.000-04:00

Don't know where this is going; have no intentions. Will try to stick to what I see as I enter the world of the MBA student at a school in the US. Observations are my fault, the actions being observed are the fault of others.